What is a covenantal relationship?

Sometimes, you’ll hear people say that a covenant is a “contract,” but that’s not really enough. Covenants are much bigger than contracts.

Very frequently, you’ll hear people talk about marriage as a “covenant relationship” or that marriage is the closest thing we have today to a covenantal relationship. I’m guessing you’ve heard things like that before.

To start, I wouldn’t correct those who use the word “covenant” in regards to marriage. This is because they probably mean it as a “serious, permanent promise” or something close to that. In that sense, marriage is covenantal in nature.

However, there is a key difference, and this leads to a definition covenantal relationships:

A mutual agreement between a higher party (sovereign) and a lower party (vassals), in which protection and provision are provided, given that the participants fulfill their obligations.

This is based upon the ancient practice of a sovereign-vassal treaty, which was common back then. In these, the agreement is weighted — not 50-50 like some contracts are, but carried more by the sovereign. That’s partly why we don’t have a fair comparison these days, since even complementarians would not say the husband is “superior” or “sovereign” in the way a king is over his people.

Now, that can sound a little bit like such a contract is tenuous or based on works, but there are some important dynamics to keep in mind:

1) The sovereign is guaranteeing here, and the sovereign has more power/ability. In other words, it’s more of a promise by the sovereign (“I will do this for you”) than a test of the subjects (“let’s see if you’re good enough”).

2) The context is a kingdom — so think of it as a “realm” in which the sovereign and subjects live.

3) Rather than thinking of this as “earning” protection, provision, or in a spiritual sense “salvation,” it is more common sense to me: If you choose to leave or betray — basically, committing treason — then these promises don’t apply to you. So it’s not about earning but not rejecting.

4) Covenants in scripture have more weight than any other promise, since God vows to fulfill them; we see this in the way that even when Israel fails to keep up their end, God still remains faithful. (Of course, there are consequences when Israelites decided to “leave the realm” of God’s grace, but at the same time, God does not give up on them.)

So there’s mutual agreement, but weighted and guaranteed by the sovereign — with the idea that someone could leave or reject, and in that case, then they wouldn’t receive the benefits of protection and provision.

All in all, when we think of God covenanting with his people, we should be assured that God will do right and offer grace and mercy, should we choose to live within God’s kingdom rather than apart from it.